Chapter 5
Whether it was because emotion stimulated his appetite, or because he had still been hungry from not eating enough, Verner quickly finished all three pieces of cake.
‘…He really eats well.’
It felt like I was watching an audience member at a cake-eating contest. Just looking at him made me feel oddly refreshed, so I sipped the tea Verner had brewed for me.
After cleaning his plate completely, Verner’s previously pale cheeks finally regained a healthy blush.
“Is it good?”
“Yeah. It tastes even better because our little rascal brought it.”
Honestly. Who’s the real “little rascal” here?
For a moment I recalled a truth no one else knew, then just smiled along with Verner.
To be fair, I had missed hearing that “little rascal” remark while he had been away in the estate for two months.
“Were you worried because of me?”
“If I said I wasn’t, I’d be lying. Father and big brother were too.”
“…Father and Hyung too?”
“Of course.”
In truth, they had mostly taken it in stride—but seeing Verner brighten immediately after hearing that made me feel it was the right thing to say.
Even though Verner had rivalry-driven spats with Kizef, at his core he admired him greatly.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the person Verner respected most after Duke Calypse was Kizef.
If anything, he admired his brother so much that he tried hard to be like him.
‘He’s really such a cute kid.’
After smiling for a moment, I changed the topic.
“How was things in the estate? Nothing happened?”
“There was something.”
“Really?”
“I nearly died of boredom because our little rascal wasn’t there.”
“What is that supposed to mean…”
I sighed at his nonsense, which made my earlier worry feel pointless. Verner chuckled.
Seeing him joke around meant he had regained his energy.
Then Verner leaned back and stretched.
“Still, it really was boring. No little sister to play with, no brother to spar with, and I even had to eat alone…”
“…You ate alone too?”
“Yeah. And work just kept piling up every day. If Uncle Michael hadn’t come back early, I would’ve been stuck there for another month.”
Though he said it lightly, his disgust made it clear he truly had been bored.
Verner had never liked sitting at a desk, so being sent to act as estate steward must have been unbearable.
I stood up and walked over to him.
“You worked hard, brother.”
I patted his shoulder sincerely.
Verner blinked a few times, then burst into laughter.
“Little rascal, are you copying Father?”
“Yeah. Father’s praise is really cool. Even knights cry when he does it.”
I still vividly remembered the knights who broke into tears after receiving Calypse’s praise.
“…That was a bit hard to watch.”
“Why? It was touching…”
“…It’s impressive that you find emotion in grown men crying.”
We talked a bit more, then I stood up.
“Alright, I’ll head out now!”
“So soon?”
“I’m going to the library.”
“What kind of six-year-old likes books this much?”
“Books are good. Want to come too?”
“No.”
Verner, who usually agreed with most of what I said, immediately refused.
“I’ve had enough reading after drowning in documents for two months.”
“…Fair enough.”
I felt a little disappointed but didn’t push him.
“Then I’ll walk you to the library. I’m heading to the training grounds anyway.”
“You’re not resting even though you just came back?”
“I’ve been sitting the whole trip, so I feel stiff. Plus I want to test the improved version of my magic.”
“You improved it again?”
“I am a genius mage, after all. Improvements are easy!”
He puffed his chest proudly—then muttered under his breath:
“…Though I haven’t tested the safety yet.”
“Ah! I should spar with Kizef. If he sees my new magic, he won’t be able to stay calm!”
Watching Verner grin mischievously, I forced a smile.
Well… would Kizef even agree to that?
I parted ways with Verner at the library entrance.
The library, with its three open floors and vast central space, was both grand and airy—my favorite place in the estate.
“What should I read today…”
Ever since I learned to read, I had visited the library frequently.
At first, it was to study the past 500 years…
‘But now it’s just a hobby.’
There were so many kinds of books that exploring them had become enjoyable.
“Hmm… I’ve been reading magic engineering lately, so I should go back to herbal studies.”
Deciding on my book, I walked between the shelves.
Even with my child’s body, reaching high shelves was impossible—but I had a workaround.
“Did I read this before? Ah, no.”
Using wind magic to lift myself, I floated slightly and selected two books.
Just as I was heading to a nearby sofa—
thud.
Something tripped my foot.
“Hmm?”
Looking down, I saw a book lying on the floor with a beige back cover facing up.
“Did I drop this?”
I tilted my head and picked it up.
But it didn’t return to its place.
The moment I turned it over—
I froze.
《Memoirs》
Nothing unusual—just an old-looking book that seemed misplaced.
But my eyes were drawn to the author’s name below it.
Allen Dinasel
A clean, precise handwriting.
Slowly, I turned the pages.
flap, flap—
A few pages turned, revealing faded ink.
“Year 501 of the Imperial Calendar, July 1. I, Allen Dinasel, write this based on diaries I have kept all my life. This is neither a treatise on spirit studies nor an academic paper. It is a story of my life, and at the same time an apology to the one person I respected most in my entire life, and the only one who stayed by their side until the end. It will likely never reach anyone.”
As I read the short introduction, I felt my breath tighten.
Each word felt as if it was imprinting itself directly onto my mind.
After finishing the page, I let out a shaky breath.
“…So it was you, Allen.”
The name Allen was common.
But there was only one Allen Dinasel who was both a spirit mage and bore that surname.
The scholar who founded the basis of spirit studies 500 years ago, and the first to contract two elemental spirits.
Even in the present era, Allen Dinasel was still regarded as a great figure.
But to me, he was more than just a historical genius.
“Master Roel!”
“U-um, Master Roel, can I call you teacher?”
“Master! Look at this!”
A lively spirit mage child who followed me around constantly, asking questions about spirits.
Unable to ignore those shining eyes, I had spoken with him a few times—and from then on, he insisted on calling me his teacher.
Kyle, Dana, and Jin had also been fond of him.
‘…Well, Isid found him annoying.’
But Isid found everyone annoying except me, so that wasn’t special.
A faint smile formed on my lips without me noticing.
I carefully stroked the page, then returned the other books to their place.
I sat down with only Allen’s memoir.
But I didn’t open it immediately.
‘What should I do…’
Half of me wanted to read it. Half of me didn’t.
Since some point, I had avoided historical records and books about the past.
Reliving what was already gone only made me feel melancholic.
I couldn’t stop sudden memories, but I could avoid triggers.
“….”
Rustle—
I ran my hand over the book cover.
It was the first autobiography written by someone I knew personally, which is why I had picked it up.
But I still couldn’t decide whether I should read it.
What if it dragged me back into emotions I couldn’t handle again?
Being alone in sadness was fine—but I didn’t want my family to see me like that.
‘If only I could find out where Isid is…’
More than anything, what made me the most melancholic was Isid’s disappearance, still unresolved after all these years.
Beyond the spirits who had been with me since my earliest memories, he was the closest friend I had in this world—the black dragon Isid.
