ABFR 03

Chapter 3…

Honestly, I’m not someone with a lot of naturally lovable qualities. Even I know that much about myself. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m the type to fall to my knees and weep, “Thank you so much for loving me!” No, I’m the kind of twisted human who thinks, “I don’t seem worth all that, so I can’t trust your underlying motives for claiming to love me. I’ll have to slice your belly open and take a look inside.”

Did I possess the physical strength to slice open Rayley Kraha’s belly? No.

Even if I somehow managed it, would I actually understand what was going on in that incomprehensible guy’s head? Also no.

I briefly wondered if my mind had been less troubled back when I was waiting aimlessly for Rayley Kraha, but then I shook my head.

Back then, I lived like an absolute wreck. I’d dig through convenience store fridges, buy an armful of energy drinks, and chug them all night while studying, writing, and giving up over and over again. I couldn’t achieve a single thing. After returning from that world, I couldn’t write freely either. After publishing Urging the Author to Reflect—which was just a slightly altered version of what happened over there—I fell into a long slump without releasing anything new.

Things are definitely better now than they were back then. While I managed to overcome the writing slump on my own, having Rayley around to manage my daily routine actually kept me healthy. I’ve always been a picky, light eater who skipped meals as naturally as breathing, so I naturally lacked a strong constitution and spent the last four years treating the hospital like a revolving door. Recently, I’ve been eating and sleeping well, though my stamina is still slow to recover.

Having headed down to the convenience store below my apartment just to grab a vitamin drink, I got all sentimental for no reason, picked up an energy drink in each hand, and struck a melancholic pose. Why on earth did I use to live on these when my body can’t even handle caffeine? Thinking of Rayley Kraha again for no good reason, I let out a heavy sigh.

Suddenly, someone grabbed my wrist. A large, fair hand wrapped entirely around my wrist with plenty of room to spare.

“What kind of crazy bastard goes around grabbing an unfamiliar human’s wrist—”

“I believe we agreed you wouldn’t drink energy drinks.”

“Ah, crazy Doctor.”

Regrettably, it was my attending physician from internal medicine. The very doctor from the clinic in front of my apartment—the one I mentioned treating like a “revolving door”—and the man who had seen my face almost daily like family for the past four years.

He was skilled and wealthy enough to open his own clinic, yet for some reason, he chose to live in an old, rundown neighborhood full of students and renters. Thanks to that, I ran into him around the neighborhood quite often. On top of that, probably because I treated his clinic like my second home, he had memorized my face and name, subjecting me to four years of strict supervision to force a healthy lifestyle on me.

With pale skin and pitch-black hair, Dr. Jung Si-hoon was strikingly handsome, but in his role as my attending physician, he was nothing short of a demon. Whenever I met up with old college friends after graduation and tried to crack open some soju, he would appear out of nowhere like a ghost, recite my liver enzyme levels from my last checkup, and vanish. Since I didn’t have the sheer audacity to drink after hearing about my ruined liver stats, I’d be left drinking fruit juice alone after he left. But isn’t sugar bad for the liver too? Ugh, whatever, whatever.

Either way, his reason for suddenly grabbing my wrist this time was obvious. Looking sheepishly at the energy drinks, I offered a cheeky grin. Dr. Jung, who had lowered his gaze with a chilling expression, repeated my words in that typical, soft-spoken doctor cadence.

“‘Crazy Doctor’?”

Dammit, that was a mistake.

“No, I just forgot a comma, so it sounded like that! What I actually said was, ‘Oh crazy, it’s the Doctor! My goodness, so great to see you!’ It was just an exclamation expressing my pure joy at seeing you. A ‘mere exclamation’.”

“If I were your internal organs, Ah-jin, I would have killed a owner like you a long time ago.”

Forcibly snatching the energy drinks from my hands, Dr. Jung began returning them to their precise spots in the fridge one by one.

“Wait, it’s a misunderstanding. I had no intention of drinking them.”

“You were caught red-handed.”

“I was just reflecting on my past, remembering how I used to survive on those things, getting all immersed in sentimentality. Yes.”

“Why soak in that kind of sentimentality?”

“Because these days, I’m living a regular, healthy life!”

I wagged my index finger, making my bold and honest claim, but the doctor didn’t look particularly convinced. Looking at me with a deeply pitying expression, he gathered a few packs of fruits and vegetables that looked insanely healthy—and equally unappetizing—and headed straight to the register to pay. He came back and shoved the plastic bag right into my arms.

“How much of the medicine I prescribed last time have you actually taken?”

“Hey, what do you take me for? I took it every time I ate!”

“People don’t eat once a day.”

Holy shit, chills ran down my spine. The truth is, people don’t change easily, and since it’s assignment season right now, I haven’t been able to meet Rayley often. I only ate properly when he called me over to feed me. On regular days, it was usually instant rice with instant kimchi, instant rice with seaweed, or instant rice with canned tuna. I was going to get sick of whatever I ate anyway, and one side dish is more than enough.

But how on earth did the doctor know that? Putting on a deeply regretful face, I quietly took a step back.

“Doctor, did you install an illegal camera in my apartment? Mind blown. I was wondering why you always buy me fruit and healthy juice, or hand me healthy stuff whenever we meet on the street. I’m reporting this.”

“I prescribed a week’s worth of medicine and told you to come back so I could adjust it based on your stomach’s condition, but you haven’t shown up in two weeks. It’s obvious. Not everyone in the world is like you, Ah-jin. Why couldn’t you just take care of yourself regularly?”

Answering with an indifferent face, Dr. Jung Si-hoon began picking out beers, which seemed to be his original reason for visiting the convenience store. Now that I looked, his other hand was holding dried squid and peanuts.

“Oh, Doctor, that white can of beer was imported just last week, and it’s delicious. Highly recommended.”

“And how does Ah-jin, who was put on a drinking ban two weeks ago, know the taste of a beer imported last week?”

“…”

I decided to exercise my right to remain silent.

“If I were your internal organs, I really would have killed you.”

Delivering awful words with a gentle smile, Dr. Jung completely ignored my opinion and grabbed a few green cans instead. I hurriedly changed the subject.

“Doctor, are you drinking alone? Drinking alone is so depressing.”

“Isn’t the depressing thing your tone of voice?”

“I mean, I’m offering to drink with you. Isn’t booze supposed to go down smooth when you drink with company? I’ll take a white can. I’ll pay for mine, so don’t worry.”

“I’m not drinking with a patient under a drinking ban. Put the can down.”

He yelled at me as I reached for my beer, but his hands were already full of snacks and beer. Under his metal-rimmed glasses, his dark eyes turned sharply toward me in a cold, accusing glare. Since it had come to this, I decided to be completely shameless.

“I’m going to drink anyway, even without you, you know?”

“You’re just trying to drag me in as an accomplice so I’ll nag you less during your checkups.”

“As expected of a doctor. You didn’t study hard for nothing. So smart.”

I even gave him a thumbs-up, but he looked at me with utter disdain before letting out a long sigh and shaking his head.

“Your liver levels have stabilized recently, so I’ll keep you company for just one can. I’ll pay, so put it up here.”

“Actually, I’m keeping you company.”

“Put the can down if you don’t like it.”

“Aww, Doctor! Please keep this foolish soul company over a drink. I’m dying under the weight of assignments and deadlines.”

Rayley seems to think I’m extremely fragile, so he doesn’t like me drinking at all, which means I can’t drink with him either. Back when I was in that world, my body had a decent alcohol tolerance, so whenever I drank, he let me. It’s not that he hates alcohol itself.

Hmm, is it because I’m fragile? But honestly, by the standards of an superhuman like Rayley Kraha, how many humans aren’t fragile? It was totally unreasonable.

Besides, to boost assignment efficiency, a little bit of alcohol was an absolute necessity. Humming a tune, I grabbed my beer can and sat down with him at the table outside the convenience store.

Pushing the dried squid toward me while shelling peanuts for himself, Dr. Jung spoke in a critical tone.

“Do all freelancers live without a tomorrow like you, Ah-jin?”

“That’s a hasty generalization and a low blow.”

Tearing open the dried squid packaging, I answered instantly. Dr. Jung frowned as he placed a few shelled peanuts in front of me.

“How are you managing your meals these days? Even if it’s deadline season, go easy on the cup ramen.”

“I’m not on a consultation appointment right now, you know.”

“You’re keeping me company over drinks right now, aren’t you? Consider this my payment.”

“Oh, so you finally admit I’m keeping you company over drinks.”

“Put the can down, then.”

“Never mind.”

I answered hastily, but after chugging the beer and letting out a loud, satisfying “Ahhh,” the conversation naturally lulled. Feeling impressed by my own loud exclamation for cutting off his nagging so quickly, I popped a few of the peanuts he’d shelled into my mouth. Lowering his dark eyes beneath his metal-framed glasses, reflecting the cool blue neon lights, Dr. Jung naturally shelled a few more peanuts and placed them in front of me.

Truth be told, I was so close with Dr. Jung that about two years ago, when I was a struggling freelancer in a severe slump, justifying skipping meals because of stress, lack of appetite, and low funds, he would pack up side dishes for me whenever I visited the clinic. Around the same time, when I got caught up with a bad guy while chasing an intense romance, Dr. Jung helped me out a lot.

In short, despite his icy, stoic exterior, he was actually a deeply compassionate person, and I owed him a massive debt of gratitude. That was why I came to follow him like an older brother. Honestly, there probably weren’t many crazy patients visiting the same clinic almost every day for four years straight on a street lined with student rentals.

Under the guise of treating him like an older brother, I kept accepting his favors and getting treated without ever repaying him, but since the doctor didn’t seem to mind, it was fine. Once again, I promptly gobbled up the peanuts he shelled for me.

Anyway, it was truly unfair. Lately, thanks to Rayley, I was constantly eating something. Since he’d long mastered the ultimate butler duties tailored to my picky appetite and easily bored nature, living with Rayley meant I ended up eating non-stop. Even though we hadn’t met in over a week to let me focus on assignments and studying.

“I’m actually living pretty well these days, you know. I sleep on time, cook lavish meals, regularly eat meat, rice, and even desserts.”

“Did your parents or siblings come to visit?”

“No way. What do you take me for? My place is way too small anyway; if my family came, I’d have to send them to a hotel or a guesthouse.”

“Then did you get a roommate to cut down on rent?”

“Nope. Seriously, what do you think I am?”

“A vestige of evolutionary failure who wouldn’t have survived on her own even a thousand years ago. Stop eating only peanuts and eat some dried squid.”

“You really don’t hold back!”

Because he said it with such a straight face, I shouted out loud before stuffing a piece of dried squid he’d shredded into my mouth. Chewing on the squid, I raised both hands and shrugged.

Well, it’s not like the doctor could ever imagine that a butler had flown in from another dimension—from my own novel, no less—to serve me small, non-repetitive meals perfectly tailored to my taste every day. Honestly, nobody would ever think that.

“Of course, it’s not like I cook all of it myself. I’m not that good at cooking.”

“I know. I figured that out when I made you seven side dishes and you brought me canned tuna to ‘repay my kindness.'”

“Hey, is that any way to talk about a gift filled with sincerity? I was just being modest—I’m actually a great cook! I just don’t do it because it’s a hassle.”

“Then what is it? A new boyfriend?”

“Oh.”

I had never introduced Rayley Kraha to people around me under the title of “boyfriend.” Anyone who knew my novel would find Rayley Kraha suspicious, and I hadn’t had a reason to introduce him to anyone who didn’t know my novel yet. Personally, I thought of him as my lover, but hearing that term from someone else felt incredibly strange.

Is he really in my world? I thought for a brief second.

“Yeah, that’s it.”

I answered pleasantly, but Dr. Jung immediately asked again without a second of hesitation.

“He’s not trash this time, is he? I’m not helping you out this time.”

“Two years ago was just a tough time for me… it’s just an embarrassing past… I won’t do it again…”

“So you caught a nice guy this time? Your judgment in men is as untrustworthy as your internal organs.”

“What’s wrong with my internal organs?!”

Deciding it wasn’t worth answering, he simply stayed silent this time. I glared at him coldly and took another gulp of beer. A nice guy… nice…

That guy has never once lived a life considering others. Born in a lawless slum, living without laws or rules, committing every kind of evil and crime… and even after being somehow saved, encountering love for the first time in his life resulted in threats, coercion, unprompted kisses, and toxic behavior telling me to die by his side instead of going back to my world. He was a lunatic who got angry whether men or women gathered around me.

I was determined to recycle him somehow, and he actually acts pretty attentive to me now, but… that doesn’t mean he’s not trash… and he’s definitely not the nice type… Fuck.

Conscientiously, I couldn’t defend him as a nice guy, but I tried my absolute best to put up a desperate shield for my boyfriend.

“Well… how should I put it… He’s not exactly nice… He is trash, but… not that kind of trash.”

It was truly my best effort.

“What even is that?”

Tsking with a bewildered look, Dr. Jung held out his beer can. Feeling embarrassed, I clinked my beer can against his.

“Anyway, make it work this time. Don’t get caught up in weird trouble like before.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

Not that it’s something I can solve just by trying. Reminded once again of the love trouble with Rayley Kraha that had been tormenting me lately, I chugged the beer. Whether it was assignments, deadlines, stress, or love… nothing beat alcohol. If I lived with a positive mindset, things would work out somehow, right?

Holy shit, what do you mean things will work out? I set the beer can down with a snap. Having never been swung around by something like love, I had absolutely no idea what to do in a situation like this.